Am I the only one...
Submitted by Nate on March 8 2002 01:10:37
In reply to Re: Well... submitted by Dakota on March 7 2002 16:44:37
|
Am I the only one who believes that the negative effects of a boy having sex (with anyone) are caused - not by the sex - but by the reactions of our society? Boys are going to have sex eventually, its normal. A majority of them (if I am interpreting the research correctly) are going to choose to have their earliest sexual experiences with an older trusted male. That makes it "normal" by definition. But when it does happen, society throws its hands up and screams. THAT is what impacts the boy negatively. I am speaking from my perspective as an abused boy, and as a loved boy. I know that the negative emotions of having sex (with a man) at 12 years old did not start until I asked for it to stop and was not respected. It got worse when I tried to get help from my parents and was abandoned (again) and left powerless in the situation. (The reason I wanted it to stop was because I had heard that being "gay" was a bad thing, and I was afraid that I was going to get hooked on this stuff!) The messages I got from society made me feel like I was worthless, broken, bad, and deserved what I got. Later, at 15 years old, being loved by a caring boylover was one of the most emotionally healing experiences of my life. The deep bonding that occured between us helped to pull me out of suicidal feelings, gave me a reason to live, and may have saved my life. Also, he was the one who introduced me to Jesus! There is DEFINATELY a need to support and protect children who are exposed to abusive situations, and I respect those who labor in that area. But, why do we continue to behave as if ALL sex is harmful to the child? Don't you remember what it was like when you were young? I do. I have to agree with your position above, Dakota, but under protest. It is because society is a danger to my yf that I need to protect him! Nate |
Follow ups: