Re: My girlfriend
Submitted by Splash! on April 3 2002 01:01:08
In reply to My girlfriend submitted by Ben on April 2 2002 07:02:13
|
Good to have you back, Ben. You've received a lot of great answers here, and all from boylovers who have or had heterosexual relationships, so they do talk from experience. Part of me regrets not marrying my high school sweetheart, though I saw her more as a sister than a potential wife -- and I told her so. We were the best of friends -- closer than anyone I can imagine. And part of me regrets not marrying my last girlfriend. I actually did love her very much romantically, and I'm still heartbroken over our breakup (nevermind the additional heartbreak of not seeing her children). But, like you, I find boys much more attractive, and I really wonder how that can be fair to a girlfriend. As Christians, we're not supposed to put anything else above God, and as Christian husbands, we're not supposed to put anything else above our wives (besides God of course). Therefore, as Christian boylovers, what do we do? It just doesn't seem fair to the wife, unless she knows and is willing to be supportive. But does she really know what she's getting herself into, and is it fair for us to put someone through that? Try as we might, this attraction cannot be stopped completely. So, if we must live with it, our wives must live with it, whether they know it or not. I was very overprotective (at times) with my girlfriend's son, and I worried a lot about him. This affected my relationship with his mother. She'd be trying to have a nice evening with me while I was worrying about the boy who was out past dark. She'd be trying to have a conversation with me while in my mind I'm putting together the conversation I'll be having with her son later. It wasn't fair to her, and I'm sorry I was like that. She wanted all of me, and she offered all of herself to me. I could've had her, and she wanted me to take her. But there was an obstacle that she didn't know about. She started to doubt how much I loved her, whether she was pretty enough for me, if we were more than friends, etc., etc. Why did I do that to her? I actually ended up hurting the person I loved. I did want to spend my life with her and be passionate with her, but I wasn't able to devote myself entirely to her. Very similar to our relationship with God. If we love Him, we must set everything else aside -- He takes top priority. I couldn't do that for her. Can you? I'd love to be married and have kids. It's always been my dream. I'm just past 30 years old now, and time is short. I know how you must feel. But I won't be devastated if life goes on like it is now. I do very well alone. I keep myself busy with many interests and hobbies. And Jesus is my friend. He's there when I need to talk to someone, and He helps me grow. I can be very content as a single person my whole life. Yes, I really would love to have a family of my own, but I understand God may have an even greater work to do through me (with or without a family). If it's God's will that I marry a certain someone, I believe He will put her right in my path and there'll be no way around it. I wish you the best, Ben. Say your prayers. :) Splash |
Follow ups: