How To Become a Boylover
Submitted by F.O.D. on June 30 1999 at 15:05:58
In reply to Welcome Back And A Some Comments Submitted by A Blessed One on June 30 1999 at 12:51:18
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I've got this uncertain theory that I turned into a "boylover" precisely because of the way I was taught to reject my homosexual feelings. I was never "allowed" to have a boyfriend, wasn't allowed to grow up properly with my sexual feelings. But I needed to feel male affection, to both give and receive it. I couldn't hug my guys friends, but I could hug boys. That was "acceptable". Only, in the middle of all this hugging I somehow managed to fall in love with the boy, not having a peer I could fall in love with. And so, I became a boylover. There's a lot of flaws with the theory. Even if I had have grown up without being told I'm not allowed to be gay, there's no reason why I wouldn't have fallen in love with a boy even then. Though the sexual longing could have been met with a peer. But it makes me wonder. Maybe all this means is that I still have to grow up and fall in love properly with some girl. F.O.D. |