hi this is my first post here

i'm a 20yo boylover. i've felt strong affection for 9-12yo boys for several years now ... don't know when it started. I never had a YF ...
i feel lonely. seeing a beautiful boy cross the street or passing by me is so exhilarating and thrilling and yet so painful knowing that i have low chances and don't know how to get closer to him
i get so nervous even thinking about approaching a boy and i feel that to have a yf is something so essential to me, something i want in my life above all ... at least for the time being
i've seen a lot of posts about YFs and i wonder, guys, how did you meet your YFs? please help me out here
as many of you, if not all, i would love my YF and would never hurt anyone especially someone so pure and beautiful.