well it's one of those times where my own insecurities and fears catch up with me. i'm lookin for some answers, which may or not exist, but may make me feel better just the same.

im worrying right now a lot about re-establishing contact with my yf. due to circumstances (nothing serious just life), i no longer have contact with my yf at all. to cope, ive been telling myself that with modern technology, i'll be able to find him on facebook or myspace or whatever comes next whenever he decides to get one.

im worried though about him not wanting to talk to me. it is VERY important to me to be a part of his life and i honestly cannot fathom living my whole life without him being even a tiny part of it (and me his).

we parted on (to the best of my knowledge) favourable circumstances so it's not like he hates me or anything (to the best of my knowledge). our relationship was already deteoriating from time though and although we were on very friendly terms, we were a lot more distant from when he was younger.

so why should he let me into his life in a few years especially when i wont be in it for likely several years and he's going to be a teenager who wont like adults? i never had an adult who treated me like i him so i cant really relate either and tell myself that i would or wouldnt have cared for re-establishing old ties.