Speaking as a nonpedophile . . .

. . . I'd say that sexual desire sure as heck can devour and destroy, and that this phenomenon isn't limited to people who have sexual problems. I share your discomfort at the tendency of some boylovers to use different terminology about their own sexuality than they would about the sexuality of nonpedophiles in comparable situations. Desire is desire, and I don't see why one person's desire should be called attraction while another person's desire – no different in intensity or purpose – should be called lust. On the other hand, if one is consistent about such terminology, I don't think this represents a pathological point of view, but rather a darker view of sexuality. Have you read Bruce S. Thornton's Eros: The Myth of Ancient Greek Sexuality? He demonstrates that the same type of terminology is used frequently in Greek writings, whether they be writings about marriage or pederasty. In fact, he believes that marriage and pederasty were parallel institutions, both formed for the purpose of containing desires that most Greeks believed had an uncontrollable aspect to them. His contention is also that this forms a more realistic view of sexuality than the modern belief that sexual desire can be easily controlled. Incidentally, he uses this as a reason to slam critics of boylove – not because he is pro-boylove himself, but because he sees tremendous hypocricy in modern attitudes toward boylove. He says that the same people who criticize boylovers are often people who place themselves in tremendous danger sexually (entering into rosy-eyed marriages, for example) and don't realize that they're playing with fire. Others, of course, would disagree with him; Royal and I had a lengthy discussion about this at Close Encounters, and we weren't able to change each other's views on this. I suspect that this is a case a lot like William James's description religious temperaments: that different people view sex differently, depending on their life experiences. For someone like myself, who has been burned by normal sexual desire, it's difficult to understand how anyone could view sexual desire as not having a destructive element. For someone who has not experienced this, the reverse is true. Heather [E-mail]   [Home Page]