For Better of For Worse
Submitted by Ben on April 13 2002 08:34:52
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Hello All, For better or for worse, I have broken up with my girlfriend. I believe that God has given me a clear choice, a clear opportunity to change the way that I live and to have a great life with a great woman (and a great son). Everytime I would sin (be it through lustfulness towards boys or fantasy or masturbation) I knew that I was turning away from the chance that God gave me. After much prayer and thought, I truly believe that I could not give my heart to this woman as much as I wanted to. The strength of my desire to love (in a non-sexual way) boys, to be with them, to be around them, to do things with and for them far dominated my desire to be with her. While I really did enjoy the fact that I could call someone my girlfriend, that I could interact with other couples in a very normal way, as a married person would, I knew that I was lying inside. I am not saying that I can never change. I am saying that I have chosen not to change yet and to pretend that I have changed would be unfair to her. For the minute, I am feeling lonely and miserable. I read Romans 1 today and totally felt that I have reaped what I have sown. I want nothing more than to truly be able to change, to be able to be a husband and a father to someone. But I cannot pretend the change to be. 1 John 1:5b God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. Romans 1 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. 24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator--who is forever praised. Amen. 26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. |
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