Not a simple answer
Submitted by Nate on 2003-01-19 14:13:02, Sunday
In reply to A survey submitted by Drifter on 2003-01-18 17:33:22, Saturday
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Until recently, I would have to answer f. All the time, but that was due to feeling trapped in a world of rejection and condemnation created by my Christian brothers and sisters after I had sought counsel from my pastor regarding my attraction to boys. Since I removed myself from that situation, I find that I am not unhappy with being a boylover, but I am sad and sometimes depressed about the things that I have missed because of how I dealt with being a bl. By trying for so long to hide that part of myself (from others and from myself), I have avoided relationships that my heart desires. I wanted to have a family and to raise a son of my own. My greatest joy in life (besides worshipping God) comes from working with boys who have had a rough start in life and helping them to form skills, attitudes, and values that will help them become strong, capable, and loving young men. I have avoided doing that for 15 years, now. I have allowed society to intimidate me into burying many of my talents. Being involved here at CBF is helping me to understand and reintegrate that part of myself. My goal is to live one honest life with integrity, and not two. Not that I imagine being "out" as a pedophile, there are some things that other people are not ready to bear - but I am looking toward a life of loving openly and honestly, with wisdom. So at this time, I am a. Never sad about being a bl, but c. Once in a while find myself very sad about the life I have lived. Thanks Drifter, good survey! Peace, Nate |
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