my first outcry

Christian Boylove Forum

my first outcry

Submitted by self-destructive on 2003-01-21 00:36:23, Tuesday
In reply to Not a simple answer submitted by Nate on 2003-01-19 14:13:02, Sunday

i dont know where to start... im 14 and i am VERY attracted to boys. i have been since i was 12. its been a hidden desire since then to have a son and be close to him. lustful thoughts are a daily occurance. now i find myself getting into masturbation again, and all those things. i often feel a wave of dread every time i realize that my fantasies will never come true. ive tried suicide, ive turned away from god. i feel like he will never forgive me. thats the only thingthat kept me from shooting myself, that knowledge that id go to hell. society ccalls it pedophilia. i dont know if im sick... or if we're meant to have these feelings. maybe god is ashamed of us. maybe theres no meaning to all this.

Follow ups:

... and not likely to be your last. - Brother Paul 2003-01-21 17:47:44, Tuesday (25)
- Don't wanna spoil it for ya... - Daze 2003-01-22 09:10:34, Wednesday (24)
  - Don't worry, you won't. - Brother Paul 2003-01-22 16:30:11, Wednesday (23)
    - Aw, allright then. - Daze 2003-01-23 10:35:13, Thursday (22)
      - Fweep! - Brother Paul 2003-01-23 16:08:27, Thursday (21)
        
        O_o - Daze 2003-01-23 17:21:08, Thursday (20)
        
        |:|-P - Brother Paul 2003-01-28 19:42:41, Tuesday (19)
        
        It's not that - Daze 2003-01-29 15:21:31, Wednesday (18)
        
        Ja! - Brother Paul 2003-01-29 16:35:22, Wednesday (17)
        
        Errr... right... - Daze 2003-01-29 16:48:15, Wednesday (16)
        
        Ja, Boet! - Brother Paul 2003-01-29 18:25:17, Wednesday (15)
        
        Re: Ja, Boet! - Daze 2003-01-30 04:52:50, Thursday (14)
        
        Yebo, uBaba! - Brother Paul 2003-01-30 17:26:10, Thursday (13)
        
        Re: Yebo, uBaba! - Daze 2003-01-31 11:23:15, Friday (12)
        
        Re: Yebo, uBaba! - Brother Paul 2003-02-2 16:24:05, Sunday (11)
        
        Hell and damnation! - Daze 2003-02-3 05:29:09, Monday (10)
        
        Re: Hell and damnation! - Brother Paul 2003-02-3 16:13:33, Monday (9)
        
        Re: Hell and damnation! - Daze 2003-02-4 10:11:17, Tuesday (8)
        
        Ha! - Brother Paul 2003-02-4 16:19:05, Tuesday (7)
        
        Ha! Ha! - Daze 2003-02-4 18:06:13, Tuesday (6)
        
        Bwa-ha-ha! *Gasp* - Brother Paul 2003-02-4 18:27:57, Tuesday (5)
        
        Bored, and continuing a discussion - Daze 2003-02-5 14:42:41, Wednesday (4)
        
        Re: Bored, and continuing a discussion - Brother Paul 2003-02-5 16:48:56, Wednesday (3)
        
        *yawns of boredom* - Daze 2003-02-6 04:09:55, Thursday (2)
        
        *slaps you in the face* Wake up! - Brother Paul 2003-02-6 16:28:31, Thursday (1)
        
        *bitchslaps back* - Daze 2003-02-7 08:42:48, Friday (0)
Re: my first outcry - Daze 2003-01-21 16:09:34, Tuesday (0)
Re: my first outcry - hopesalive 2003-01-21 06:43:55, Tuesday (0)
Welcome to CBF - Nate 2003-01-21 03:18:13, Tuesday (0)
Welcome aboard - Drifter 2003-01-21 02:11:17, Tuesday (1)
- Hello - Splash! 2003-01-21 04:57:56, Tuesday (0)

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