What do you guys think of this?
Submitted by comforted (scared) on May 06 2000 14:39:42
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On Sinful Love When God created man He meant for man to have a special relationship with Him; therefore, we were made with the ability to express love. What is love? A blessing? A curse? It’s a deep feeling. But is it a craving? A longing? A yerning? A passion. It’s an emotion. It’s a part of life. Everyone loves something different. Some love animals. Some love money. Some love swimming and baseball while others love music. Some love the presence of God. Some love the absence of God. But almost everyone loves another human one way or the other. When one loves another, it send him into a tailspin of emotions. To fall in love with someone bring many emotions that one may not understand. Infatuation, lust, total involvement, day dreaming, nocturnal dreaming. Love can bring upon light headedness, knees locking, goose bumps, and even sexual arousal. It is a natural part of life. But sometimes one’s love is not accepted by society or by the Divine (or at least the “sexual part of this love.”) There is a group of society, not well talked about part because of the members of this group, but also in part because of the way society would rather pretend this group does not exist. This group likes to call themselves Boy Lovers. A number of people usually male adults, make up this group. They are convinced that relationships with boys usually referred to as Young Friends is a perfectly natural and “praise worthy” thing. However, they are usually dismissed as molesters and Pedaphiles (one who engages in sexual acts with minors). However, not all Boy Lovers are pedaphiles and molesters. There are two groups in the Boy Love scene. The first group contains those who love boys mentally, emotionally, and physically. Through a friendship, they try to develop a sexual relationship-- some do not make the first move and allow the boy to decide to take the initiative pertaining to any sexual activity. The second (smaller) group contains those boy lovers who dedicate themselves to idea of befriending boys with a promise to themselves (and the boy) that nothing sexual will ever happen. These groups do have a bit of conflict because the first group believes that a boy is smart enough and mature enough to be able to tell if he is willing and ready to have sex. Where the second group believes that under no circumstances should a man have sex with a boy because it would somehow “hurt” him-- emotionally, physically, sexually, or spiritually. It has been my observation that “boy lovers” of the latter type struggle with life a lot more than the former type does. It was explained to me like this: “When you are find yourself loving boys, it gets really hard to live an honest life. I mean, it’s like you’re not normal. You love this boy because he’s so honest and open. He’s real! Not like most adults I’ve met-- male or female. The coolest thing about having a young friend is that they look up to you. I mean it doesn’t matter which end you are on. You benefit from a relationship like this. But there’s one problem. When you fall into that deeper kind of love. I mean it’s great to “love” a boy, or if you’re a boy, to love a man. But when you “fall in love” that’s when something can happen that can hurt both parties. Now, I’ve heard of stories about people who’ve had a relationship that is not only emotional but sexual with boys and the boys felt fine about it and accept the man, but still the man feels so guilty and say to themselves that they’d never do it again because they “took advantage of the boy.” But then there are other times when a boy is so hurt that he feels insecure and hurt. He feels betrayed and unlovable. He feels empty and alone. And the man who once “loved him” is now having sex another boy because the original boy is too old now. These stories really do happen. But what happens when you find yourself staring right in the face of a boy you love and all you can think of is sinful? I mean don’t get me wrong, sex isn’t everything. But you’ve shared a lot with this boy. You’ve given him countless hours of your time. You’ve given him Birthday presents and Christmas presents. You’ve seen the best movies and the worst movies. You’ve even seen him accept the award for best story in a state wide young authors competition. Now you want to share yourself. What is one to do?” That’s the problem most Boy Lovers of the second type struggle with. They feel that having sex with a boy is wrong. It can bring hurt, confusion, lost-ness; but they also feel a strong bond with a boy. This bond consists of mentoring, helping, and loving. But sometimes the Boy Lover just can’t get enough. No matter how hard he tries to stay platonic, he feels an urge for something more. What is this? Is it love? Christian Boy Lovers see it as temptation. A temptation that should never be taken advantage of. However, it leaves the Boy Lover hurt, confused, and lost. It’s a Catch-22. Some may say, “Damned if I do and Damned if I don’t.” |
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