Reversal
Submitted by Ben on June 07 1999 at 07:43:36
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Hey guys - Just wanted to let you know that I was baptized last week. Almost 50 people showed up (I'm such a popular guy :-) and with only a few hours notice. That's how close knit my church is. One of the most special things for me was that the twins both gave a little speech about me. I was so touched. I've really made a committment to try to give up the sexual habits of boylove (not the love part....just the masterbation and lusting after boys all the time). The committment comes out of thankfulness to God for what Jesus did and also out of thankfulness to God for giving me the love of the twins in my life. Certainly I am going to stumble on this path but I know that there will be forgiveness....only Jesus was perfect. Some BLs may really object to this and I can understand that and certainly would not pass judgement on their decisions. I just want you all to see me as an example of someone who was REALLY REALLY consumed with lusting after boys (never touching them of course....just looking....and fanatasizing) and who was NOT finding happiness. My committment to change is the hardest thing that I have ever done or will ever do but it has come with a really better alternative: With a committment to God, with the twins in my life (and really they are the most beautiful boys that I have ever seen anyway) and with the knowledge that maybe someday I can get married and be a dad to my own kids. It is the life that I have always aspired to have and I truly believe that God is giving me a chance at it. Considering the hopelessness that I have always felt in my life, I am willing to take the risk to follow God's plan for my life....wherever it may lead. No matter what I choose, I will never pass judgement on what others decide...I'm always hear to listen and be objective. You are not alone. 
Ben |