Breaking the news
Submitted by ChoirBoy on May 02 2000 01:13:04
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Hi. I'm ChoirBoy, and I'm new here. I've stopped by here before, but that was only for a short time and I haven't really contributed. I am having a problem deciding what to do in my situation, and I hope that someone here has been in my shoes before and may be able to help me. First off, as you may have assumed, I am a boylover. My attraction to boys is not so much sexual but emotional. I really like being around them and talking to them. I seem to become a kid myself and get down and play with them whenever I am at an extended family gathering or something where there are a lot of kids. I enjoy watching movies with boys in them, many times buying movies (I collect movies) for the sole reason that I enjoy watching the boys who are in them. I've recently read the book "Return to Innocence", and I really empathized with the main character. I felt that I love boys in the same way he does. Another thing, I'm not gay. I am in no way attracted to older men, or to mid or late teenagers. I enjoy friendships with teenagers and men, but there is something fundamentally different about them for me. Plus, while I do have some sexual attraction to boys, I have absolutely no sexual attraction to men. I am, however, attracted to women my age, and I have no trouble performing in my relationships. My problem is this. There is a woman whom I love very much. We have been together for three years, and I recently asked her to marry me and she accepted. Although she may have guessed from my personality and the things I like (movies with boys, boychoir music, boy actors, etc.), she does not know, since I have not told her, that I am a boylover. This part of my personality does not impact in any way upon my desire to marry her and raise a family with her, but I don't think I can live keeping a secret like this from her. I currently keep no secrets from her except this. I have never told anyone how I feel about boys, but I think that it is only fair that I tell her before we are married. Due to various circumstances, we are currently living several states away from each other. She is coming to visit me for a while in about two weeks, and I want to tell her then. But I don't know how to go about doing this. I don't know if any of you share this type of experience with me, but if you have any advice for me how to go about this in the way most conducive to her understanding and acceptance, please share it with me. The last thing I want to do is to alienate her from me or tell her in a blunt fashion that would leave her angry, bewildered, and bitter. I want nothing more than for her to understand and support me, but I don't know the best way to break the news to her. I appreciate any help you may be able to offer. Thank God for the Internet where I am able to ask friends I don't even know for advice on something that I wouldn't dare tell anyone. Sorry for the long message. Thank you. |
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