Every relationship needs boundaries - and the temptation for us as BLs with a YF who means the world to us is to fail to enforce the necessary boundaries. And as adults the responsibility is ours - we can't expect our YF to know the rules. The problem is that to do so is to take a risk - that he will storm off and never speak to us again; the reality is that if our relationship was so shallow, we are better off out of it, however much it hurts. And we are not truly loving our YF if we let him walk all over us - and that must be our primary concern.

And part of this process comes down to trusting God in the relationship. And we need to be aware of His perspective on the friendship - if we are 'spoiling' our YF then we are abusing him and ourselves, and that's good for nobody.

Having said all that, I have to say that I do know where you are coming from because I've been there and made those sorts of mistakes. The problem you and the old me seem to share is the absence of other important relationships in your life from which you are gaining the love that we all need to be able to operate. Keith Clark's 'Experience of Celibacy' is a brilliant discussion from a Christian perspective (he's a monk active in the world) of the challenges and real difficulties of being celibate in today's world.

I hope you get it right with your YF: if we do, we can be an amazingly positive influence on their lives - but we have to resist the temptation to idolise them as much as we need to avoid sex with them (the two aren't unrelated of course...). I'd also encourage you to explore appropriate touch with him - not as a way of pushing boundaries, but because touch is good for both you and him if it is right, so don't run away from the possibility, though be very sensitive to what he's comfortable with.

PS - how come the person who complimented me on my bike last night was 30 not 13! Not fair ;)