Re: A link to this story was posted on Boychat
Submitted by Ben on January 26 2002 09:33:33
In reply to A link to this story was posted on Boychat submitted by Forgiven on January 24 2002 16:51:45
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Wow....I would recommend reading this story. It is incredible and very well written. I have only read the first four parts. For anyone else reading it, here are some comments for further discussion: a) He thought he was an ugly duck as a kid. He didn't have any friends, but clearly because he didn't try to make any friends. It is rather clear in his picture that he was ANYTHING but ugly. (He was absolutely adorable, IMHO.) He talked about wishing that he had had a BL in his life at that age to help him see this. This is a great example of how we as BLs can encourage boys who are not getting encouraged from other people. We can see the lonely kid who is isolated, and pick him up....give him a boost, when nobody else will. b) He talked about having been sexual since a very young age, masturbating long before he was physically able to ejaculate. He also talked about the fact that he came to his own conclusion that he WANTED sex with an adult and therefore since he wanted it, other boys might want it and it is okay as long as the boy wants it. I think that this highlights some of the misinformation that is becoming mainstream in some of the BL community. Boys might also want to set things on fire, hurt animals, stuff their faces full of junk food and get drunk too. Clearly masturbation FELT GOOD for him, so his evaluation of it being OKAY was that it would FELL GOOD. He would physically feel good and he would get the attention that he was seeking. However, the outcome of filling his emptiness with sexual gratification and attention might have had a more catastrophic consequence. He might, having had that wish come true at fourteen, have spent the rest of his teenage and adult years searching for sexual gratification. Who knows how much more might have occurred from that point. c) He talked about having outed himself to a friend, who then outed him to the boyscouts, who threw him out (obviously). Based on his story, I would want this guy working with boys (albeit, knowing what I know as a BL). He is the kind of BL who cares about boys, who loves boys and who understands the physical boundaries that are appropriate. There is such rampant misunderstanding about pedophilia, particularly among organizations that work with children, that they are really not equipped to make a distinction between pedophiles and child molesters. Nor should they. I don't fault them either for what they did. I do believe however, that we as Christian BLs have to come before God on our own and search our hearts to determine if we believe that we can glorify HIM through working with boys or not. If we can, and if we submit to HIS will to abstain sexually, AND if we remain open about the nature of our relationship here in his forum (among the fellowship of believers) then we should pursue working with boys and should be very cautious about 'coming out' in public. I apologize for these comments being somewhat disconnected and anecdotal. I love this guys, writing and I'm just itching to talk about it! You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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