A prayer of thanks!
Submitted by Once a Boy on October 19 2000 20:38:54
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Today, I just wanted to praise you Lord God. Thank you for the hundreds of boys whose paths have crossed mine over the years. I have cards, letters, and gifts. I have memories of a handshakes and hugs. I have smiles on my face for the times we were blessed to share. I praise you Lord that despite my sinful desires that sometimes arose that you forgave me and helped me to come to loive these boys and they me. In them, in their hearts when they rememebr me, and I know they remember me, they remember the fun, the laughs, and my heart. They live in me forever, and I in them forever. I thank you for the opportunity to be with them, to enrich their lives. Some I no longer see as they have moved on. I pray they are well, and that my interaction has helped them to love others as they would like to be loved. I pray they come to know you. To the boys I still know I just realize how blessed I am. In regards to Joseph, a boy I met when he was 11, whose father beat him as a child, I thank you for the blessings and miracles you gave to us. The fun and the laughter led us to the heart where today at age 21, Joe still reaches out and confides in me, and I in him. Continue to work on our relationship. Make it pleasing to You, oh Lord! I praise you God for Joseph, who I have come to love more deeply than words can say. I thank you for the others and the boys in the future who you will lead into my life. Lord, I just wanted to thank you today for the battles we went through when I was working with Joe all those years ago. In your word, you made me stronger than I could ever imagine. Today, I thank you Lord for the hundreds of boys whose hearts I have touched. Lord help us to lean on you, so we can build boys up and not tear them down. Help us Lord to not fear. Help us to love the boys in a way that is pleasing to you, and if we should fall give us the direction to do what is right. Help us, oh Lord, to realize that we are forgiven. I praise you for your grace. Help me to find your strength each day as the sexual desires attempt to overcome me. Help me to make a difference as I have in so many lives. I thank you for the cards and letters I have from the boys I have loved and who have loved me. I praise you for the pictures of the smiles that you helped put on their faces. I thank you for the protection you kept over us when we were together. Lord, I thank you today for my life. I used to think of ending it all. You know the reasons for my saddness. At times, I have felt so lonely, but I lean and trust on You. I have not forgotten all the miracles you have made in my life. Help me in those doubting times to remember what you want me to do. I pray for all the boys I have loved and who have loved me. I pray for the ones still in my life, in particular, Joseph, the one who helped to open my eyes towards you. I praise you for the ups and downs we had endured in order to get to this place today, a place where our souls are forever linked by the sharing we have done throughout these pastten years. Help Joe with his saddness that comes back at times, the saddness of a boy whose cry you heard, just as you heard my cry! God, just wanted to thank you and post this, for perhaps others who suffer as I did (and still do with the sexual desire), will have hope. Help us recognize the love you have for us. It is written, "For there are many reasons why men cannot marry; some because they are born that way; others because they were made that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven." ~Matthew 19:12 I used to feel this was a curse, but as my life continues, I realize that this sin has brought me closer to you, and in turn, you have blessed my life in so many ways. I praise you! Help me to build up and not tear down. Help me be free from the guilt and shame that accompanies this sin, so that I might touch yet another soul. I praise you for the relationships with Chris, Denis, Ryan, Nick, Matt, Brian, Phillip, Kevin, Steve, Tommy and of course Joseph. Forgive me Lord for my past failings and my future failings, and let me shine on, so that the boys may, in time, find the true source of helping us all shine - YOU! Yours, Once a Boy |
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