Update
Submitted by Mark on February 21 1999 at 18:02:04
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To all the new people, here's a warm welcome! Ben, Ghostwriter, Ghosritr, d, KIDCODY, Tedd, Thumb, Pastor Paul, Mijenmit, Borg, caxton, Joel, Scott, Glominet, and Plinkie (sorry if I missed anyone), I'm glad you're all here, and hope you will find it an encouraging and supportive place. Please keep posting! To all the old people, sorry I haven't posted for such a long time. Things continue to be so busy with church and school, that it seems I just have enough time to get here twice a week, and read, but not post. I am now helping with four extracurricular activities at school, volunteering at a thrift shop, and church actitivities seem to be increasing. Maybe it's good for me. It keeps me from getting too lonely or frustrated with being a BLer. Here's an update on some things. My neighbor boy J and his mother V are back together at home, but things are sometimes still stressful, V told me today. (They were separated for two months after J made threats against V.) J gave V some roses for Valentine's Day, and that was very meaningful to her. I spent time with her today talking, and the three of us prayed together. I also spent time doing some music with J one evening last week, and that seemed to help him. He still doesn't open up much to me, but V says he comes home encouraged from our time together. I am now aware of two boys at church who are in need of a father figure. They are both 9 yo. One lives with his mother who has been separated from his father for 3 years since he began seeing another woman. The boy is very affectionate. He and his mother come to church sporadically. I got to know them both yesterday when a group from church went bowling. The other boy also lives with his mother, but she never comes to church. His father left the family soon after he was born, and his step-father was on drugs and alcohol and committed suicide about 4 years ago. It's this step-father's mother (the boy's step-grandmother) who brings him to church since she has taken him in as her grandson. She is a very faithful Christian and is very open to homosexuality. She is very concerned about the how the mother is raising the boy. Since she is not a judgemental person, I take her concern seriously. I really want to help either of these boys if it is possible, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Right now I just try to befriend the boys and their mother and grandmother. My weekly meetings with my pastor continue. He is the only person in my regular life that knows I am homosexual, but I haven't come out to him as a BLer. I'm still wondering if I should. He is very accepting of homosexuality (even of committed sexual relationships), and I am certain he would still be accepting of me if I told him I was a BLer. But I worry that he would prevent my having a non-sexual relationship with a boy. If I were to have such a relationship, he would be face the dilemma of whether he could trust me, or would need to "protect" the children of the congregation by telling the parent (or step-grandparent) about my orientation (or require that I do). He is not a rash person, and is very open to new ideas. He constantly talks about how we need to question our every belief and preconception. I have told him that I am celibate and intend to stay that way. I feel there is a lot of trust between us, but in his position as pastor, he may feel he still can't take the risk of trusting me if I come out fully. I just don't know. I have given him some materials about homosexuality and theology I got from a BLer I met in person last Saturday. They are very relevant to things he and I have been discussing, and one of them mentions boylove. I will see if and how he responds to that. May the Lord guide us all. KIDCODY, I will especially remember you in my prayers. Mark |