Examples of cost/benefit analysis:

Example one:

"I want to take my YF John Doe to get a pizza, but that would mean taking him in my car. The benefit would be that we both would have a good time and enjoy a pizza. A rather small benefit to be sure. And there would be the risk of an accident and both of us getting hurt or even killed. I don't know the statistics, but I have been driving since I was 16 and in all that time have never been seriously hurt or killed, and have had very few accidents of any kind. But of course the risk is still there, especially since I can't control how others will drive. Again, I don't know the statistics, but the incidents of people taking drives safely must be at least in the millions, probably a lot more if you take into account all the drives taken since the car was invented. And as a general rule, the vast majority of people think the risk is minimal since almost everyone drives. So what are my alternatives? I could refrain from ever taking John anywhere in my car out of concern for his safety. But is that practical? We live in a society that depends on cars to get around. Just because I don't take him in my car doesn't mean he will not get in other cars. He most certainly would. So I must decide how much risk I am actually saving him from and make my decision from that."

Example two:

"I really love my YF John Doe. I'm pretty sure he loves me too. I would dearly love to take our relationship to the next level and be sexual with him. The benefit would be that we both might enjoy it and it could feel really good. I know that I would also get an emotional boost because being sexual would make me feel so much closer to him. I'm not sure if John would feel any emotional boost or if the best I can hope for is that he will get some physical pleasure. After all, John seems to get an emotional boost just from me spending time with him and caring about him. So I guess the main benefit for John is receiving physical pleasure. Now I need to evaluate the risks. The risk for me would be to go to prison if it were ever discovered, but let's focus on the risks to John. I don't know the statistics, but there's a chance he would be fine with it and we both would enjoy it with no ill effects. Or he might enjoy it now, but regret it later. He may regret it a little or a whole lot. He might question his masculinity or sexual orientation at a time when he is just beginning to realize it. He may not like it at all, even though he consents. He may just do it to please me. The social norms of the day could also really mess with his mind. It will probably feel good to him, so he could really get confused when that is in conflict with what his parents and society says is right and wrong. He himself might really think it's wrong from his own sense of morality, and the good feelings could really mess up his mind, either now or in the future. It could really mess him up for the rest of his life. He might later think that I betrayed his trust, and instead of us becoming closer, he could think that I just used him and probably never really loved him. The loving relationship we had could be shattered. It would most certainly never be as it was before the sex. And all this isn't even taking into account what will happen if we are caught. John would be put thru the gristmill known as the system. It would chew him up. He would be forced to tell things that will embarass him and make him feel ashamed. His friends will probably laugh at him and call him a fag. He will feel it's all at least partially his fault since he consented to it. He will of course lose me as a friend and mentor because I will never be allowed to see him again. If he still loves me and doesn't hate me, he will feel guilty for putting me thru all the hell I will be going thru. If I go to prison, he will feel he helped put me there. Unless he hates me, which he might. Even if he doesn't want to, the so called councelors will tell him that he should, and they can be very persuasive. I can't even imagine the pain he will feel if believes them when they tell him I only befriended him because I wanted to use him as my sex toy. His home life will never be the same. His school life will never be the same. HE will never be the same. As I said before, I don't know the atatistics. But unlike driving cars, there aren't millions of known examples of sexual relations with boys turning out fine. Quite the contrary. The vast majority of examples available denote all the harm that was done to the boy. Could it be that the unharmful sexual relationships aren't fully documented because those involved don't want to publicize it? Maybe. Maybe not. But in this age of anonymity on the internet, it seems like more examples should be out there if they do exist. It sounds like this might be something I just tell myself, whether or not it's true, to justify being sexual with my YF, because I really really want to be sexual with him. So what are my alternatives? I could refrain from ever having sexual relations with John out of concern for his safety. But is that practical? Could John go thru life successfully without ever having sex with a man? John couldn't easily go thru life without driving or riding in cars, but he could live a full and fruitful life quite easily without ever having sex with a man. And while the vast majority of people feel the risks of cars is minimal, the vast majority of people feel the risk of man/boy sex is huge. Maybe they're wrong. Maybe they're not. But since we're doing a cost/benefit analysis, I need to consider every angle including the general consensus. And I also need to consider whether the actions being considered are truly neccesary to live in this world. Are cars neccesary? Is boysex neccesary? Can John live without cars? Can John live without boy/man sex?"

This conclused my cost/benfit analysis. Thank you for your attention.

Dakota