Fair enough, I've only believed for a little while and really I'm only entertaining the idea at best... so I couldn't call myself a true 'Christian'... but this life you talk about where your mistakes and inadequacy are constantly being revealed to you makes me feel absolutely sick to my stomach, literally. Why can't you just accept you have faults and get on with it?

I have so many battles in my mind between my sexual desires and this 'purity' that I am supposedly expected to obtain. When I hit 18 I want to do some good old experimentation with other guys, probably even people I am not really in a relationship with. Why can't people stick to the golden rule and leave it at that? You know, the one that is supposed to be the law in its entirity! It seems to me that God just wants us to get on with each other and the 'rules' are designed for the people who are either too stupid or too weak to control their own lives.

If I were to become 'perfect' all it would do is sicken me because it would increase the gap between me and the imperfect. I would feel sickened to see so much fault around me, the world would become an even uglier and darker place than it already is.

Please, someone help me shine a light on this.