What being a 'BoyLover' means to me.
Submitted by Mavrick on 2002-10-14 20:33:48, Monday
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Hi all! This is for everyone to read. Please feel free to tell me what you think, good or bad. This post is written for those who are visiting this website for the first time. A certain curiosity has driven you to read some of the postings and to see what they are all about. The information I am giving you below is from my personal opinions and experiences only. I am sure that many of the regular visitors to this site will agree with what I say. Some may not. I know that some of the readers of this post will be offended and angry with me. That's alright. As I said this is my opinion, nothing else. Because this posting is so long, you might want to print it out and read it off-line. Any Bible verses given are from the New International Version. "Christian Boy Lovers? Isn't that against the Bible?" That depends on how you define "Boy Lover" and what you think the term means. Let's take a look at it shall we? First let's define what a Christian is. A Christian is a person that believes in the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ on the cross. That He was buried, and then three days later rose from the dead. That by His death, He provided the payment for our sins. That by believing in Him we can have forgiveness of our sins. The Bible puts together in a few short verses: Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Yes, even me.) Romans 6:23 "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ, our Lord." (Note that the WAGES of sin is death. That is a payment for something, BUT the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ. A gift, given freely. You can't WORK your way to heaven, it is given freely. All you have to do is accept it.) Romans 5:8 "But God showed His LOVE for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 10:9 "That if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and Believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead you WILL be saved." After accepting Christ as your Savior do all your problems go away? DON'T I WISH! If anything, Satan will try even harder to drag you back. I could spend hours telling you about the trials I have had to face, but I won't. (And everyone said "Amen!") There is more to being a Christian than going around spouting off religious beliefs and preaching to anyone who is standing still for more than a few seconds. In fact, that is nothing at all like what I do. I never go around "Bible Thumping" people, even those I know. And I don't have bumper stickers on my car that makes people mad at me because I am a religious fanatic. I have one bumper sticker. It's kinda cool, at least I think it is. My son thinks it's, (how did put it?) defiantly not cool. (So I'm not coll. That's okay. Jesus Loves me anyway!) It says. "John 3:16 is the beginning. Want to the rest?" And sometimes people ask for the rest. I am not a religious fanatic. I prefer to think that I am not even religious. I prefer to think of it as a relationship with Christ. When you are in a relationship with someone that loves you and you love them with all your heart, you do whatever it takes to keep that relationship strong. Now, what is a "Boy Lover"? Well, this again depends on how you look at it. The word boy is, obviously, a young male child. Ages range from birth to 18. The word Lover is on that a lot of people get hung up on. To most people a "Boy Lover" is someone that has sex with boys. People, get a grip! Because our society is overwhelmed with sexual ideas and so obsessed with sex, they automatically think that anyone that claims to be a "Lover" is sexually involved. NEWS FLASH! NOT ME! I am a horse lover, but I don't go around having sex with horses. I love to ride. For hours at a time. One of my all time favorite things is going what I call "Horse Packing." This is where you go backpacking, but ride a horse through out the trip. And I am a car lover, too. I don't go looking at cars to see where the tailpipe is. I was raised by a mechanic. I have worked on cars since I could reach the engine. Mind you, I had to stand on a milk create to reach it, but still…. So I have made the point, I hope, that being a boylover does NOT mean that I am looking for sex with boys. Or that I am waiting for the day when I can see them naked. I'd rather not. And all of the regular people that post at this website are the same way, at least I believe so. (Here comes the part where I am going to hear some booing and hissing.) First of all, I do not believe in homosexuality. (There I said it. I wonder, how many people are going to burn this as a sacrifice tonight?) Please don't try to convince me that I am wrong unless you have biblical proof. I have read the bible and know that God does not approve of homosexuals. Yes, yes, there's the story of Sodom and how God destroyed the town because of the ramped homosexuality there. But in the New Testament in 1st Corinthians 6:9&10 we are told "Do you not know that that the wicked will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves not the greedy nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God." These are not my words, but come from the bible. Feel free to check it out. And if you can prove me wrong with biblical references, I will gladly concede that I am wrong. So what does being a "Boy Lover" mean to me? It simply means that I love helping boys with problems. There are thousands of the out there. I know that I can not reach all of them, but hopefully the ones I do reach will. And now the question comes up "You mean that there aren't girls out there that need the help, too?" Not in the least. There are just as many girls are there are boys. I have tried working with them, but I am always uncomfortable doing so. In my ministry I have set up a program that is similar to the "Big Brothers, Big Sisters" program. I have several Christian women that work with the girls. As well as several Christian men that work with the boys. I often handle the more difficult cases because of the flexibility in my schedule. It was through this program that I met my adopted son. (For reasons of privacy I will only use his first initial of his name.) He is J. If you have visited this website before, you may have read some of the postings that I have put up. As well as a few that J has put as well. I love J as if he was my biological child. Even before I adopted him, when his mother was still alive, I had a deep love for him, the kind of love that a father has for a son. I have never been sexual with him, and I never will be. But at the same time, I have no problem showing my affection and love for him by giving him a hug, even in public. That gets some strange looks from many adults. I had one father that tried to scold me for hugging J in public when we at the store shortly after I adopted J. J was still grieving his mother's death (and still is, but he's doing much better now. I don't know if you have ever lost someone you love, but I have. I lost my wife of 10 years and to this day there are times when someone will walk by wearing the perfume that she used. And for a few seconds I miss her even more. It's been 10 years since my wife passed and I still miss her.) I had told J that he should expect these "triggers" and to be ready for them. There was a lady in the store that had on a coat just like J's mom had. J saw it and his somewhat happy mood changed to one of being sad and depressed. I knelt down and asked him what was wrong and he pointed to the lady and told me "Mom had a coat just like that. For a second I thought it was mom." I hugged J and told him it was alright. Right there in the store. In the middle of the isle we were in. From behind me I heard a man's voice say "That's not right." I stood up, making sure J was okay, and turned to face the man. He was down the isle a little bit with a young boy. I asked "Did you say some to me, sir?" He looked at me with out turning toward me. "Yeah. I said that's not right, hugging your boy like that. It'll make people think you a quire or something." I told J to stay where he was and went down to where the man was standing. I looked him straight in the eyes. He turned to face me as if he was getting ready to fight. Would have been fine by me, but didn't happen. I looked at the young boy standing next to him and then back into the man's eye. "To tell you the truth I don't really care what people think. Or what they say. The only thing I care about is letting my son know that I love him. His mother just passed away and he's having a hard time with it." The man looked over my shoulder at J and then said "It still ain't right." I looked sown at his boy. I figured that he had to be around 11, maybe 12. I asked the boy "Does your dad ever hug you like that?" The boy looked uncomfortable, but said "No." I nodded. "And how does that make you feel?" The man stepped over to block my view of the boy and said "What my son feels is none of your concern, mister." (Why me? Why do I always get the ignorant ones?) "Well," I said " I was just wondering if your son knows that you love him." The man looked offended. Good. " 'Course he knows it." Then he turned slightly to look at his son "Don't you boy?" The boy fidgeted a little. "I guess so." He said not looking up. The man looked shocked. "Whatyamean 'I guess so'?" he said. The boy didn't answer. Seemed he found his shoes much more interesting than his father right then. So, being the concerned person I am, I said, "I think he means that you don't show him the affection wants or needs. A simple hug doesn't mean you're a homosexual. It means that you love you son and you're not afraid to show it." The man puffed up his chest some. "My daddy never hugged me and look how I turned out." (Now I'm not one to go around insulting people. I try to get along with everyone. Being a Pastor, and a youth pastor at that, kind of makes it a necessity to get along with everyone. But there are limits.) I thought of his last words. "Look how I turned out." I put my hand to my head, rubbing my temple. "I'd rather not." I replied. "It makes me nauseous." I turned and walked away. J had come up so that he was right behind me and I almost ran him over when I turned around. (So much for my exit.) J had his hand over his mouth and I could see that he was covering up an ear-to-ear grin. We walked down the isle not saying anything. I heard the man talking to his son, but couldn't understand what was being said. As soon as we went around the corner J started laughing so hard I thought he was going to hyperventilate. He had to sit down on the floor to get control of himself. I just stood there with this grin on my face. Not because of the comment I had made, but because of the fact that it was so good to hear J laugh. It had been weeks since he laughed like that. It was good to see. Once J regained his control, we continued our shopping. We were two isles over from where the man and I had talked, choosing cereal for breakfast, when the boy's voice sounded out loud and clear "How do I know you love me? You never show it!" J and I looked at each other. J said "Ouch." I couldn't agree anymore. What's the point of this story? That I love my boy, my son. I am not afraid to show it to the world. And if the world thinks badly of me, well then let them. My only concern is what my son thinks of me. That he knows that I love him. I have this little routine that I do with J every day. Once in the morning and once at night, when he goes to bed. I take him by his shoulders and I look him in the eyes. "I want you to know two things before you leave today. First you are very important to me. Be careful I don't want anything to happen to you. And secondly, I love you. I always have, and I always will, no matter what." Then I give him a hug. And he returns it. The words are a little different at night. "Before you go to sleep tonight I want you to know two things. First, you are very important to me. Get a good night's sleep. Secondly, I love you. I always have and I always will, no matter what." And then I hug him. Anytime I say that to him, I am completely sincere. Even if I am mad at him, which is very rare, I still do it. And he knows I mean it. So, I am a Boy Lover. I do not have sex with boys. That, to me, is not even a possibility. I don't try see them naked or visit the sites that proclaim to be boy love sites, but are in reality only places for people who want have sex with boys can express themselves. I love boys. Working with them, helping them through their problems, teaching them. I take the time to love them because, unfortunately, they don't feel that love at home. And I always talk to the parents before I start working with their son. And I stay in contact with the boys, even after the boy has become a man. Comments? Questions? Email me at mavric24311@hotmail.com. Be sure to put the subject as "Boy Love comments" (or questions) |
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