more advice...if ya dont mind
Submitted by Scott on September 29 1999 at 17:15:43
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greetings brethren... i posted recently at BC about something i have had on my mind for a while, but i would like some Christian advice in particular... as some of you know, i work with children. we typically have about 50-100+ kids here at once. i love my job, and i would not trade it for anything else, despite the long hours and the terrible pay and the idiots i work with... my dilemma is this: i have a hard time concentrating on my job with all the boys that are running around... now you might think i am crazy... and i kinda am. i thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful job, and i truly believe He wants me in this career, at least for right now. but sometime i find my mind wandering into ungodly regions... i love these boys, and many of them are my friends, and some few are more than just friends...but all of them are beautiful. i dont want to get so distracted by lustful thoughts... but i do. sometimes to the point of distraction.... i want to keep working here, without all these distracting thoughts about my boys... if i try *ahem* excuse my abruptness *personal satisfaction* i find that my days tend to be filled with hollow self-pleasure and ungodly feelings in my heart. to me, thinking like that about these wonderful boys is degrading and disgusting... now, i go back and forth between two ways of living. i like not pleasuring myself because it provides me with a kind of tension, a constant excitement. i also find myself thinking more purely... and living more purely in general. but, my problem, is that then i walk around most of the time *obviously* aroused... which is not great in front of a hundred kids, who are all 12 y/o and VERY attentive to such things... any ideas on how to stay pure and committed to the Lord while still retaining my sanity? thx Scott |