Re: Boys you know
Submitted by John Guard on March 14 1999 at 19:25:37
In reply to Boys you know Submitted by Ben on March 14 1999 at 11:37:03
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Thanks for sharing your opinion, Ben. It would so easy and convenient (for my conscience at least) to agree with you. Believe me, I want to. However, there is still a gnawing in my conscience against it. Is it a personal thing or is it the Holy Spirit speaking in me, telling me that rendering the kids as sexual objects is wrong? I am not sure. The LORD said that to lust after a woman is the same as committing adultery. What differentiates the righteous from the self-righteous is that the former relies on external laws while the latter has the Law of the Spirit inside his heart. I am not sure what the Law of the Spirit says about lusting after the bodies of kids, or anyone for that matter. I am not going to be a self-righteous bastard and stick with the "Dos and Don'ts if you want to go to Heaven" mentality a lot of self-righteous people have. However, I want my life to be as productive and fulfilling (in GOD's Will) as possible. I know that I will never act out no matter how much fantasies I entertain. I know that no one will ever be harmed by me jacking off to decent, innocent pics. However, not everything, no matter how harmless, is edifying. By engaging in too much fantasies, one tend to gradually slip into lust, then lust breeds sin...thats what I want to avoid. Thats the mistake I did before. I was doing okay until I made the mistake of associating myself with non-Christian, sex=absorbed pedos...which led me to become sexually addicted to pics. My priorities became all messed up. Instead of spending time with the kids who needed my help, I used my time downloading, taking,and trading pics. I nearly crossed the line with the porn issue but by the Grace of God, didnt cross that line. I must have amassed close to 100,000 pics and was going out of control. Eventually, I realized how much I have gone away from GOD's Holy Will, and decided to separate myself from everyone until my spirit is right with GOD once more. I destroyed all the pics, minimized my involvement with other pedos, et al. I am not blaming anyone for my own stupidity and foolishness. I take full responsibility for my backsliding. It is a painful process, one that set me back years in my growth in the LORD. The lesson in all this is that gratifying the flesh can lead to sin, and sin leads to obsession, and obsession leads to disaster. Anyway, just my two cents again, In Christ, John Guard |